My Laptop(s) and Me

Round 1

So I got my first laptop in 2004 for a pre-college program. The Baby Dell. Fantastic machine. About a year and some after I got it, possibly 2, the “b” key broke off and has never been replaced, so there’s just a nub for it. Fair enough. It still *works*. A short time after, the hinge broke, so it cannot actually be used without it being propped up. Irritating as hell, but again, it works, everything on it works. This is the best laptop I’ve had. I can still turn it on, use it, et cetera. Worst thing about it is, as mentioned, the hinge, and that it heats up really fast. Fine.

Round 2

I replaced it in 2007 with the evil IBM. Okay, most of it was my fault when I accidentally spilled coke on it a few months in. But man that computer held a grudge. First the fan went, then all kinds of motherboard things started screwing up, and it got to the point where it no longer even booted up. During the worst parts of this period, I used Baby Dell, which provided it was propped up, worked fine. Even wrote a paper on it, thanks to evil IBM. Wrote my 08 Nano on this machine, though was totally uncertain about whether it would even last out the month. It finally went to its grave mid-February after extensive maintenance, when we decided it just wasn’t worth it to keep ad-hoc-ing it together.

Round 3

So I got another Dell, which I’m typing on right now. I’ve had it 3 and a half months-ish. This time, it was not a hardware problem. Something, *something* screwed itself up after some unknown event (I still don’t know what) and I managed to uninstall MS Word. I know some people don’t like it, but I grew up with it and am quite happy with it. I’ll switch if something really wows me, but I like what I’ve got and plan on keeping it. Worse, idiot that I am, I never bothered before this point to create restore points, so it would have had to go back to factory default.  Unlike some people, this is not terribly a problem for me. Why? Because I established that, on a regular basis, I use four programs: MS Word, ITunes, Yahoo Messenger, and the internet. Of those things, three of them can be re-downloaded without incident given that my IPod doubles as a hard drive for my music. So wiping to factory settings wouldn’t have really been a *problem*, just a pain. And because it’s a Dell, even if we have to totally wipe everything, even the OS, I have recovery disks. I still am not *entirely* sure how this problem fixed itself, but it did – at least inasmuch as all my programs appeared to be working again.  I created a restore point, and crossed my fingers.

Round 4

The latest in the saga happened earlier today, when I downloaded some updates and promptly managed to break Windows Updater. Don’t ask how, it just happened. I looked up the error code on google, and learned that basically the only solution was to restore to an earlier point! Wow! I just did that (a week ago)!.  So I did as it told me to (actually, I didn’t restore back to that point; the machine had created a restore point just before installing the updates), and everything once again seems to be working as expected.

I just wish me and computers got along better – I wouldn’t live in constant fear of the new Dell rebelling and eating me while I’m asleep.

Packing

For the record, I hate packing. Particulary after two years of crap has piled itself up. One wouldn’t imagine that such a tiny apartment could accumulate *quite* so much crap. You’d be surprised. I haven’t even really got started on it yet. Dad came round to pick up the first set of stuff. Tomorrow will probably be most of the books (I’ve left out a couple so I won’t get bored out of my mind), and I’m going round to the secondhand bookstore tomorrow to drop more off there – there are some coursebooks that I really don’t see the value in keeping anyway, so I might as well make a couple dollars off them. I also need to get my clothes washed so I have something to wear when I get home and don’t look like a total slob.  And, as mentioned above, I need to sort out all the three trillion pieces of paper and decide which (a) need to be kept, (b) which can be chucked, and (c) which need to be chucked but contain personal info so need to be taken home to be shredded. Then, finally, there are the million odds and ends that don’t quite fit into any category but need to be kept anyway and places to pack them need to be found.

On the other hand, a few stressors have been relieved. Electricity is going to be shut off “sometime” in the PM on Saturday. Internet/cable/phone gets shut off from the outside and I just have to return the modem and converter box to some place by 5pm on Saturday (this of course could conflict because of above electric guy). As for gas, I’m not sure, but when I called them to try to hurry things up, I spent ten minutes walking through an automated menu to be told that the shutoff request is “pending”, and god only knows what that means. Hopefully, that they’ll show up on the date I really need them to show up. I’m not going to have the *keys* to get in after this weekend, so they’ll hardly be able to get in.  In other good news, I can hand in my keys at any time over the weekend, so I don’t have to rush my ass out of the place by 2pm Saturday. I could even feasibly sleepover Saturday night, though I’d be without electricity. We’ll have to see how the packing and carting-shit-home goes. Dad’s new truck doesn’t have as much crap-space as did the old minivan, so mother’s car may have to be enlisted, or multiple trips…I see the whole thing being a time of woe as it is.

The only thing I try to reassure myself with – though it is scant reassurance – is that come Monday, it will all be over, all my utilities will be shut off, final bills forwarded to home-home, and I can get on with being the unemployed-college-graduate-bum-who-still-lives-with-her-parents.

The End of All Things

Okay, so I sort of reneged on aforementioned vow to try and update once a week. But my life has been understandably busy and so I plead that. Not a good excuse, but it’s all that’s going to be offered.

I am now officially a graduate, and I managed to pass all of my classes. So that’s a good thing.

I have no job yet, despite my looking. So that’s a bad thing.

My lease runs out at the end of the month, and because I can’t really justify my parents continuing to subsidize me here when their home has a perfectly open bedroom, I’m moving back home with them. Hopefully for a very short period of time, but there’s no real way to know that kind of thing, with the economy as it is. But I would really rather be gone by the end of the summer, if that’s at all possible. I’ll just cross my fingers.

I’ll still be slightly stressed until I’m actually home, because I’ve got to have all my various services turned off and find a way to return my keys to the leasers when I’m not sure they’ll still be open on Saturday when I am actually ready to leave (because, for example, my electricity guy is coming “sometime in the PM” on Saturday, and the leasing office closes at 2 on Saturdays). I’m going to go and talk to them eventually. And by eventually, I mean probably Tuesday because who the hell knew that Monday was Memorial Day???

It’ll be sad losing this independence. I’ve lived here for the past two years, the longest I’ve lived in a single place alone. It’s become my home. In fact, despite the fact that my parents pay the bills, my name and not theirs is on the lease, not even as co-signers, and so this *is* my first home. And in just over a week, it will no longer be mine. I’ll be back to my childhood bedroom. (*sigh*)

Papers and bread and the upcoming dread

By Thursday, I need a coherent 8-ish page paper. By Saturday/Sunday, I need a second coherent 8-ish paper. On totally different subjects, so none of the research I use for one can feasibly used for the other, which is a pain. Plus I have to make 10-15 minute presentation on the first paper next Tuesday, and a presentation of similar length on the second next Wednesday. The next week is going to be grueling, but I can handle it. What makes it worse is the Russian I’ve got to do as well, which takes horrendous amounts of time, but really does need to be done just as much as the papers do. Fortunately, my fourth class only has a final on the 4th, so it’s happily taking the backburner at least until next Wednesday. Oh, and did I mention that those two papers up there will need to be expanded to 20-25 page papers for May 6th and May 12th respectively.  But at 4:30 on May 12th, I will finally be done. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.

I learned how to make bread last night. As with everything you do the first time, I did a couple of minorly stupid things. I don’t think it actually affected the finished product, but I’ll know what to do differently next time. I’m also starting to think about what kinds of things I can cook when I go back to live at home (*sigh*) which I will actually enjoy more, because I’ve got a far less stringent budget to work with there. Money’s always really damn tight here.

And in just under a month, I will be a college graduate. I will have finished at least the first part of my higher education (I don’t know if I’ll be going any further, that depends on a ton of other variables). But at the very least, it will be the close of another highly significant chapter of my life, and I don’t quite know how I feel about that. It was easy to think when I was a freshman that this would more or less last forever, or at least that I still had a long time to go. Now I don’t. Maybe sometime soon I’ll make some reflections about the past four years, but not now. I’ll wait until I actually have the diploma in my hand before I do anything like that. Not that I don’t think I’m going to graduate. At this point, I’m 99.9% sure I am, having gone and met all the requisite people, so unless I’ve missed something ridiculously crucial, we’re good on that front.

Writing has been put on hold for a while. If I’m busy writing two papers, I can’t really focus too much on that. There’ll be plenty of time for it this summer when I am sitting at home trying to find a job. On the other hand, I entered the Knight Agency contest and I’ll find out if I won by the first of May, which on one hand would be *hugely* thrilling, but on the other, it’s right in the middle of when I’m doing a zillion other things and I know that my priorities are skewed in the direction of the writing over the papers. But let’s face it. What are the odds of winning? I’m not going to cross my fingers.

Mystery magic goal: day 1. Or something. Query: Do I have the willpower?

Only time will tell.

*sigh*

It’s so easy to fall out of love with yourself. So easy to think it can’t possibly happen to you. Which is actually stupider in my case than it would be for a healthy percentage of people. I need to get ‘this doesn’t make you a bad person’ tattooed on the inside of my eyelids.

Okay, those five minutes of typing are all the self-pity I get. On this topic at least. Self-pity fixes nothing.

What doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. And best to shed bad habits before I go and do difficult things, like have a real life.

I’m going to graduate?!?!

So, despite the fact that I am set to graduate in about six weeks, I had yet to see the department of my major (political science) to talk to someone to actually determine if I COULD graduate. Yes, I’m lazy and a procrastinator. Which part of that is supposed to surprise anyone who actually knows me? Oh, sure, I’m good at getting things in on time under time pressure (see below regarding my paper proposal that I was allowed an extension for but worked my ass off to get in on time), but when it comes to things like this, I tend to put them off for a number of reasons. Good news, though: I *can* actually graduate, but what the woman actually said was that I was good to graduate as far as my major was concerned, but that she couldn’t say anything about whether I’d finished adequately all my gen eds, and advised me to make an appointment with the College Advising staff to check up on that. I trudged out, made an appointment for later that day (I’m a tad obsessional when it gets down to it, so I figured the sooner the better), and spent half an hour waiting for an appointment that took roughly a minute and a half to say that yes, I was going to graduate. So, all good news!

I think I’m finally starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m graduating. In just two short months, I will no longer have this apartment. Most likely, given how the job hunt is going, I’ll be back at home with the family, as much as I don’t really like the idea. But I can’t really justify them paying for an apartment when there is a perfectly good bed sitting at home. Just makes the job hunt that more urgent. No luck on that front, but I persist.

Lasagna

So I made lasagna last night. Problems cropped up from the get-go, and proceeded to happily snowball from there. Okay, I exaggerate mildly. But because my pot is evidently not big enough for a pound of ground beef, I obviously had to chuck some in the trash if I didn’t want a bubbly hot mess all over the stove-top (because it’s soooooooo clean *eyeroll*). So that meant that when I was actually *making* the lasagna, I ran out of mixture. Having never made lasagna before, I figured that it was fine to just leave the last layer of pasta uncovered; what was the worst that could happen? For those of you who haven’t made lasagna before either, here’s the answer: it’s not a good idea. Don’t do it. Wasn’t tremendous disaster, but disaster enough worth mentioning. Hoping the food will last me a couple of days.

Going to be fiendishly busy over the weekend, unfortunately. I really need to sink my teeth into research for my two papers I have to write this semester, plus I need to catch up on my Russian essays, which is a nightmare I’m almost afraid to face, but will for the sake of my pride. They’ll be a disaster, of course, but that’s what taking a class pass/fail is for.  I’m sure there are other things that need doing, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself, so I’ll just stick to three ginormous things to do over the weekend. Odds are, I’ll be lucky if I get one of them done. I know perfectly well how awful of a procrastinator I am.

I have come to the realization that I have written about 30,000 words in the past 16 days. None of it’s anything that can ever be used for anything productive, but it’s been fairly fun doing the writing itself.  I know I should be doing more productive things writing-wise; i.e. making a final decision regarding the Eden story about whether I truly want it in third or first and getting a move on with the Bloody Destiny rewrite, but the silly stuff is easier to sit down and write for great lengths of time. Perhaps I’ll put that on my imaginary to-do list.

You know, I think my life, at least lately, is like the lasagna I made. Little, insignificant issues at the beginning, play a huge role in the outcome. But they’re minor disasters, and in their own way, minor disasters are just as much fun as the successes.

A Book, a Splinter, And Other Pleasantries

I finished reading a book about an hour ago; American Saviour: A Novel of Divine Politics, by Roland Merullo. Hilarious and sad at the same time. It’s an amusing little insight into American politics, when Jesus himself comes back to run for president of the United States, told from the perspective of a reporter who ends up being one of the crucial figures in Jesus’s campaign. There’s a little spirituality in there, but it’s not laid on all that heavily, and it turns out that Jesus’s christianity is a bit different from what modern day mainstream Christians believe, which is fun. Overall, I would highly recommend the book to anyone who enjoys political satire. Here’s a game to play while you read it: nearly all of the important figures in the book outside of the campaign itself are mirrors of real people in the world. Some, I found, were harder to guess than others, but it’s an amusing little exercise. My personal favorite? Popopoffolous, hands down. Bittersweet, but sensible, ending.

I went home a little while ago, in order to get my learner’s permit, which was a success, hurrah. While there, I acquired a splinter of some sort on the sole of my foot. No luck in getting it out, just unpleasasnt pain. I poke at it every once in a while, but I think I might just be making things worse. Sooner or later, it’ll work its way out or dissolve, but I fear that I am sentenced to pain until then.

Not been doing all that much writing, except a silly little smut piece that I’m writing for my own pleasure. But I’ve been busy, too; I had a paper proposal due, as mentioned; it was given back on Tuesday and I got a B+. Far more than I deserved, but the hard work is just beginning. Still have to *write* the damn paper. Had another paper due at noon today, so that’s what I’ve been working my ass off on lately.

Broke again. I’ll pretend to be surpised.

No luck thus far on jobs. To be expected, probably.

Spring Break!

Well, I survived the past week, despite the past 48 hours. Enough said about that; it’s done and I don’t care to think that much more about it. I’ll find out how the paper proposal went when the prof hands it back, andI’ll deal with it then.

I’m have second, third, hundredth thoughts about rewriting the Eden story from third to first. I like it in third, I really do, and I’m increasingly finding myself copy-pasting from the third person doc to the first person doc and just changing the pronouns because I like the way it’s written, too. I think I’m just avoiding actually sending it out, because I’m just too damn afraid it’ll get rejected.  *sigh*

So, goals for this spring break (might as well make the list, even if I never actually get half of them done)

1. Read book and do paper for other class

2. Finish Erikson’s series so I can move on to The Kindly Ones (I hate reading two entirely different kinds of books at once)

3. Run at least twice. And try to teach myself that I’m not a “bad person” if I don’t, or if I don’t eat right, etc.

4. Tidy up this shithole, because it’s gone from bad to disgraceful to whatever comes after disgraceful.

5. Get driver’s permit. Yay!

6. Finish typing up handwritten edit to Bloody Destiny, Book 1 of the Lost Years Quintet

Speaking of aforementioned quintet, as I was reading over the stuff for BD already typed, I wanted to amuse myself by going through part of the second book and reading some of  my favorite bits. So I go and open it up and…half of it is gone. Deep breath. I then go look through the folders for book 3-5. They’re *empty*. Now, I’m more or less rewriting the quintet, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to heavily rely on the stuff already written. So I trawl back to dead useless laptop (DUL) and boot it up with ubuntu, and transfer the applicable files onto thumb drive and come back to nice shiny new laptop (NSNL) and open it up. Books 4 and 5, hey presto, transferred right over. Books 2 and 3? Corrupted. So I go back to DUL and try again. Except somehow in the intervening 5 minutes I’ve managed to turn my thumb drive read only. Fuck knows how.  There’s a good side to this story, though. I emailed them all to me as I finished them. So they’re back and safe on NSNL, but now I’m too stressed and tense to do anything except sit here and mindlessly surf. At least I’ve got all freaking million words of it back. I can’t imagine actually *losing* all of that.

Most Fun…Ever (or not)

So I came home.

All well and good, at least at the beginning. No more than the usual family drama.

Until at 11:30pm, I go on down to the basement to see if there’s any Coke or Pepsi down there.

And I find that there’s water in the basement. Lots of water. And fairly deep water, too. Turns out that the water heater broke and has been leaking for eff knows how long. ALl over the basement. Where we keep all our crap. All of it. So my dad gets out his water-sucker-upper thing and goes at it, while the rest of the family is on moving-shit-out-of-the-way duty. Not fun at any time, even less fun, actually, at midnight.

About half an hour later, dad’s water thing breaks. Stil lots of water all over the floor. On the plus side, we’ve moved everything to safer parts of the basement. So he orders us to go back upstairs and ransack the house for rolls of paper towel. Yep. We then set about mopping up the basement with *paper towels*.

An hour and a half later, we’re out of paper towels and there’s still water left. Dad turns to me and my sister and says “Go out and get more paper towels.” If you’re keeping track, it’s now 1:30am. So E and I head out, practically hysterical at the absurdity of the situation.

We’re driving and E says, “We’ll probably get stopped, just because anyone out on the road at this hour ends up being.” [hysterical laughter from both of us]

Catching my breath, I say, “Well, when they stop us, the most important thing [laughter] is to *not* laugh [even more hysterical laughter]

We make it to a 24-hour supermarket, and grab a 15-roll pack of paper towels, still laughing pretty hysterically. Had you seen the pair of us, I am certain you would have thought us stoned and or drunk. We pay for it, and what clinched the night was that the woman that rang us up says “Have fun with that, girls”

We head back into the basement and continue the triage. We decide that cement and metal don’t rot, but that wood does, and so we focus our efforts around the wood supporting the stairs, and once that’s done (about 2:30am), we decide that we’ve done more than enough work.

So we head back upstairs. Dad’s done his end and we will now have it fixed on Monday. Probably. (I go home on Monday, though, so it doesn’t really affect me). The downside? We’ve got no hot water until then. Flush the toilet? Sure. But showers? Only if you want them so cold that your head hurts. I did that last night, just to get it over with. I have firm intentions of not showering until Monday morning, when I get home. Where the water is warm.

I feel like the past 12 hours of my life were some kind of surreal experience.