I’m not dead.
For honest reals.
Work has continued to be frustrating, difficult, and kooky. (Seriously – when I started there, there were 10 people, including me. At the end of the month there will be 8. And not really because of firings, per se. And almost everyone is looking for their next job. And not because the doors are about to close.) I have had another handful of late nights since my last post, all but one because of the same damn case that I’ve been working on. It would have been worse – and I might well have quit by now – if one of the attorneys wasn’t super-awesome. Despite this not actually having been his case (until it was seen that he was helping me, and then it was thrown at him), he has helped me tremendously in the past couple of weeks, and commiserated with my lack of basic training thanks to the fkupitude of the office. Last week, he also took almost the whole office out for pizza and drinks, his treat.
Monday looks like it might prove another late night (unless we can get the thing we want at a reasonable hour; something that seems to be impossible based on past history). In addition to that, I need to compress probably the best part of 4 or 5 hours of other (non-billable) work into maximum one or two, so that I can do the kooky actually-billable stuff (which, because of the massive size of it, tends to take a couple of hours to do what would, in another case, probably not take quite an hour). Plus help another paralegal with something, which is probably at least two or three hours of work. It might prove interesting.
So, moving onto writing. It’s now, according to my calendar, the 20th. Since my last post, I have written approximately 2,000 words. That puts me 3,000 words away from winning free and clear with my crack story. So I have decided that that’s the path I’m going to tread. After I hit the 50k, I’m going to continue with the story through the end of the month. My lack of focus is hardly commendable, but as people have pointed out (quite wisely), my life has just sort-of upended itself. And while I appreciate that any first job is going to be difficult simply because it’s a first job, it is the solid consensus of everyone in my office that they would see this as one of the worst first jobs. But I’ll tough it out. I’m a big girl now.