The Grown-Up List

(I’m afraid this is another post of me having a whine, so feel free to skip it if you’re here for my cunningly insightful gems on writing and what books you should be reading. As with last week’s late end-of-week post, we’ll go back to regular programming on Monday.)

At the ripe old age of 22, I’ve come to realize something. More than whether or not you can pass for a certain age (which I can’t), I feel like there’s a hidden list of requirements to be properly considered an adult. Now that I am out of school, I feel like I should be knocking them off one by one, until I can legitimately count myself as a grown-up.

Maybe I’m just paranoid. Maybe I’m too young to actually know what being a grown-up is actually about (and let’s face it, this one seems more likely, even to me).

I think I have stumbled onto some items of the Grown-Up Check-List, though, and I have to say that I’m not feeling all that optimistic.

1. Ability to Drive

This one seems like it’s basically an adolescent requirement, but I only just renewed my permit and, living in the ‘burbs, am functionally stuck in the house unless I can beg for a ride. Because I don’t particularly enjoy doing this, and am a morose, sociopathic loner on the whole anyway, this means that I pretty much stay holed up inside. I’m fairly sure that that, in and of itself, is a symptom of being un-grown-up-like.

2. Ability to be Employed

I know, I know. The job market sucks. Sucked since I graduated, just over a year ago. I don’t want to think about how many jobs I’ve applied to. Now I’m starting to apply to grocery stores, CVSs, maybe even restaurants if I can get the nerve up to actually ask for an application in person. I recently was rejected by a local grocery store for a position as a night stocker. At least they were kind enough to send a rejection.

Anyway, I’m starting to think that I might not have Marketable Skills. In fact, I’m growing ever more certain of it.

3. Ability to Live Independently

I know, I know. Save having a job, or being independently wealthy, this is not something that one can just do because they feel like it. But there’s a real measure of grown-up-itude that comes from having to pay bills and buy groceries and generally fend for yourself in the world. Not that I enjoyed paying bills in my apartment, but it made me feel more adult to do so.

In my paranoid delusions, these seem like three of the top-most items on the grown-up list. If we’re using this as the test, then I basically fail at grown-up.

I know. I wrote this post with the intention of me failing. I’m sure there are plenty of grown-up skills that I could pretend to have. And I’m sure there are plenty of adults who get by fine without a car, or without a job, or without an independent means of living. I could probably do one or two of those myself and still call myself an adult.

I just feel like I’m getting younger and younger, living at home.

(This is not the way shit was s’posed to happen, man)

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “The Grown-Up List

  1. pym93

    Yes, I would agree with that list. And as much as I wish you the very best and want to say nice things, it boils down to this:

    Fix it. You have about 8 years before 30 to do it, and you can do that. By 30, you should be able to be on track to whatever goal you wish, but yes, I would count those three as major prerequisites.

  2. If it makes you feel better, I’ve only gotten number two down, and only for a temp job that can end any time. Join the un-grownup club.

  3. Well, I’ve got all three down, but that doesn’t mean I feel like a grown-up. Just more grown up than my baby sister.

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